I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve posted a recipe on this blog.  Heck, I can even count on one finger, because it’s happened exactly one time — when I posted the recipe for the Best Brownies You Will Ever Eat.  I still stand by that statement.

I hate baking and cooking.  I hate the preparation and the clean up.  I also really hate pictures of food.  Am I the only one bothered by the photos friends post of their dinner on Facebook?

But, there is one thing I know how to do in the kitchen and I do it well – mixing bags of junk food together into one large bowl.

Four or five years ago, I went to a Halloween party at my friend Zoe’s house.  She had out on the counter the most magical bowl of party snacks I’d ever eaten – the perfect mix of salty and sweet.  If I didn’t have more control of myself, I would have just completely shoved my head into the bowl.

About this time every year, I gorge myself on the magical treat.  Then I feel so sick when I think about it that I have to wait an entire year to have it again.  I have no shame.

Are you ready for this?

Here’s my “recipe” of the year:

1.  Pour one bag of Chex Mix (the Traditional flavor) in a large bowl.
2.  Pour one bag of candy corn (or Autumn Mix) into the same bowl.
3.  Stir until well mixed.
4.  Grab a handful and shove into your mouth.
5.  Lock the rest of it in a safe and hide the key.

I know that this isn’t a super secret recipe, but I had never heard about it until Zoe put it together for her party.  I’ve seen lots of recipes for other Chex Mix/candy corn party mixes, but they usually require you to at least use a microwave to melt some chocolate.  There is seriously no need.  The candy corn are already so sugary (okay, corn syrupy) sweet that you don’t need anything extra.

But, I am totally serious about keeping it under lock and key so you don’t eat too much.  It’s possible that I may no longer fit into my jeans when it gets cool enough around here to actually wear them.

What’s your favorite Halloween treat?

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Congrats to Danna B., who is the winner of the HomeZada giveaway!  Please get in touch with me to claim your prize.

For those Living With Lindsay long timers, you’ll remember the fabulous Britney Spears/Kid Rock coffee table I scored for free on Craigslist.  I mean, let’s face it.  How could you forget.  It’s likely been as seared into your brain as it is in mine.

Never to be one to turn away from a challenge (which is both a strength and a weakness, I might add), I set to work stripping and scraping and rebuilding this “masterpiece.”  Needless to say, the end result was a coffee table that you could actually put in your house without people wondering when you were going to come down from your acid trip.

That was almost 3 years ago.  My home has gotten quite the shock of color since then, and my creation has been moved around from room to room.  This table has served as a coffee table, a media stand, a toy storage box, and a place to race Hot Wheels.

It pains me to admit this, but I just no longer have a place in my home for my Britney Spears Coffee Table.  It’s a perfectly wonderful table, but it doesn’t “fit” with the changes that I’m making around here.  But, my loss is your gain.

Unable to simply take this treasure with such a history to Goodwill, I want it to go to someone who will truly embrace its story.  I want one of you to give Britney a new home.

Here’s the deal:
1)  You need to live local to me, which is on the outskirts of Austin, Texas.  Or, I guess you don’t have to be local if you like to go on crazy car trips.
2)  You need to be able to come and pick it up from me, since it won’t fit in my SUV along with two car seats
3)  You must promise me that when you come to my house, you will not ax murder me.  That would just be rude if you did.
4)  You should send me a photograph of Britney in your home so I can share it with everyone else.
5)  You can’t take it just to go sell to someone else.  That would almost be as rude as you ax murdering me.

The table is roughly 56 inches long x 17 1/2 inches tall x 22 1/2 inches wide.  It is painted an antique white, BUT it needs a new coat of paint since it’s served as a race track as of late.  Obviously, you can paint it whatever color you want or even rebuild the entire thing.  I encourage that sort of craziness around here!  In the photos above, there is only one dark brown milk crate style basket, but I actually have three of them that go underneath – you can have those as well.

If you would like Britney to come live at your house, let me know!  Make your case in the comments below as to why you should be the one to get it.  If there are a lot of you that want her, we’ll do a little drawing to see where she’ll end up.

Godspeed, Britney.  Godspeed.

Update 8/21:  A “winner” has been selected, and she’ll hopefully be able to give Brit Brit a new home this week.  If that doesn’t work out for some reason, I’ll randomly select someone else.