I’m back from a fantastic trip to the Haven Conference. It was a fun time with good friends, late nights/early mornings and lots and lots of dancing.
At the conference, Mandi (Vintage Revivals), Ashley (The Handmade Home) and I taught two classes on the topic of Designing Outside of the Box. The three of us are known for our over-the-top decorating styles, so you know our class was going to be the same. We laughed a lot, forced the attendees to dance and even bawled on the second day (we were moved when talking about how women feel so empowered when they learn to trust themselves). It was, quite frankly, the greatest presentation in the history of blogging conferences.
Although we presented the material in a funny way, we were really serious about our main tenets – mainly that we wanted everyone to embrace the power in being comfortable in their design decisions and to keep reaching past that comfort zone. Because 99% of you weren’t able to be there, I thought I’d touch on our main points so that you could benefit from them as well.
Your Relationship With Comfort
Finding your own decorating voice requires your ability to accept two things: the comfort in your own ideas and the comfort in what other people think about your ideas. As you create your own style and move past recreating favorite rooms from magazines and following trends, you’ll find that you have to trust in yourself and find comfort in your ability to pull off the creative room you see in your mind. And the more often you push yourself, the easier and quicker it will be to find comfort in your own crazy ideas.
Beyond finding comfort in your own ideas, you also need to be comfortable with other people’s opinions of your work. The more you push the limits in your decorating style, the more naysayers you will likely hear. As bloggers who put their crazy ideas out there for the world to see, Mandi, Ashley and I have had our fair share of negative comments about our designs. But because we are so comfortable in our own ideas, we are comfortable enough to hear all sorts of opinions and just let the negative ones roll off our backs. It may take a while to get to this point, but you will get there as long as you trust in yourself.
Take a Chance
In order to develop that balance in the two types of relationships with comfort, you have to keep pushing yourself outside of your current comfort zone. If you normally paint your furniture pieces white, go for a bright color. If you generally only use patterns in textiles, try putting them on your walls.
Little steps in risk taking can add up to you running a marathon. Keep pushing yourself with each new idea, and don’t let fear hold you back.
Stay Scared
Mandi has told me a few times that there are occasional posts that she’s just afraid to hit “publish” on. She knows that she loves the post and that her designs are amazing, but she never knows what the reaction online is gong to be. I’m right there with her.
Do you know how scared I was to show you my herringbone wood wall? I mean, I think it’s the most amazing wall on Earth. But, I didn’t know if you guys would think I had lost my flippin’ mind. It’s true, some of you DID think that, but most of you saw the awesome in its design.
I think that there must be (at least) one element in every room design that scares me. For a truly interesting room, I know that I need to push the boundaries somewhere. Whether it be a wall treatment, a crazy light fixture or a turquoise sofa (it’s going to happen, people), I know that I need to keep pushing when I feel a bit scared.
And you know what? You do, too.
What do you think? Do you think that there’s more to decorating outside of the box than these three basic steps?
Thanks for this post. I love your blog and sometimes I think, woah, where’d she come up with that? But it always seems to flow with the rest of your room. And even though somethings aren’t my taste you love it and that’s all that’s important. I’m TOTALLY onboard with a turquoise sofa. I can’t find a slipcover ANYWHERE! I think you should have a blog challenge. Who can find a turquoise slipcover for sale. We just bought our house, it’s big and we have six children. I have tons of ideas and I have to keep reminding myself that the blogs I love didn’t get their houses looking like that over night or even in a year. And we have made a little progress, I have a chandelier in my craft room now. 🙂 Thanks for sharing all your great ideas.
Turquoise slipcover. Hmmm…I haven’t seen one ever! Maybe make one or have someone make one for you?
I’m so glad you posted this today! I was at Haven but didn’t get to attend your session. Great advice — I originally decorated our house based on what I thought it was supposed to look like and didn’t love it, but I am going back and revisiting each room and making it more of what I love and less of what other people expect it to be 🙂
Good for you, Katie!!
I agree with every word. Thank you so much for putting this post together and reinforcing that little voice inside all of us. I’m taking chances in my home. And you know what? I’m finding those chances are the things that are making my home, just that, MY HOME! 😀
Woot!! That’s what it’s all about, Christine. It’s YOUR home – no one else’s.
Lindsay,
I LOVE this post. As a homeowner, I’ve taken a few risks that scare both my hubby and me. But once the color/project is in the space… it is the one thing that really helps make the room “us”. I really NEED to do this more!
And as a blogger… following your gut (and not the trends) is always the way to stand out from the pack. I love reading blogs that show me something new and different (like yours!) and not a re-hash of the same style/trend. It is refreshing and fun to see new things! I am working on my next project (and have some doubts) and I appreciate the encouragement to push the envelope!
P.S. I pinned every graphic here… love these quotes!
Thanks, Shannon!
I have heard so much about this conference, what a wonderful experience it must have been. I would have loved to attended your class, it sounds wonderful. Maybe I will get there next year! Hope you have a great week.
Come visit me,
Michelle. thebashfulnest.blogspot.com
I hope you can come next year! It was so much fun!
Hi, thank you so much for sharing your tips here. Surprise, surprise I couldn’t attend EVERY session at Haven! Your philosophy has me hooked. I’m checking out more of your blog – so glad I found it. I take our home too seriously. Yes I do. I’ve already been changing that, gotta keep it up.
This is such great advice and I love you, Mandi and Ashley!
Thanks for sharing this for those of us that couldn’t attend your session. I definitely need to convince myself of these points as I wander around my mostly neutral home. I need some excitement on my walls! Here’s to risking it!
Your advice during your session was absolutely perfect. I’m tired of trying to design for others; I’m very ready to accept my design choices and wear them proudly! My favorite analogy was when you mentioned your drum light pendant, and how it would NOT be good in a music room. That would be textbook. A drum light pendant in a family room? Brilliant. I’m so glad I got to meet you even if it was just for .34 seconds, and I’m hoping we’ll really get to chat at Haven 2014!
Oh Lindsay, this is awesome! I am such a “people pleaser”, that I do take negative comments way too seriously. I need to keep pushing through and “trust myself”! What’s the worst that could happen, I may have to repaint, or redo, but the risk is worth it! I’m gonna bookmark this post, so that when I need a boost, I can read it again. Thanks so much for posting this for those of us who didn’t get to make it to your class. 🙁 Your dance moves are AWESOME! Loved seeing you again!! Next TX meetup, when??? Can’t be soon enough. <3
Lindsay,
I didn’t get to meet you at Haven, but to take a photo of you with Heather from RCHOTX on the last day (and thanks, btw for taking the picture of Heather and me)! I am not exaggerating when I say that I was SO torn on whether or not to take your session or some of the others offered, but I totally regret not being in on that love-fest (though I LOVED my other sessions- can we make Haven 3 days next year? Anyone?)! Anyway, after reading this post, I want to hug you because it really resonated as I’m in the middle of a bajillion projects and kinda becoming unsure about some. This post makes me realize where I am super comfortable and confident in what I want and where I need to re-do and re-think. Thank you SO much for this! Here’s to meeting you next year! 🙂
Jessica
Does it make sense that I was scared about reading this post?
I am still trying to suss out what my style is and for so long I have let other desgin my space and make those decisions- while the rooms are o.k. I’ve never felt “at home”.
I want to claim ownership of my home. I want to feel at home-and proud when I look around my house and see what I have created.
Also…if that turquoise sofa is velvet I am all in.
I can see I’m going to love your blog…I’m LONG past the point where i care what people think about my decorating style but i agree, pushing the ‘comfort zone’ leads to greater creativity
Wow! What an inspiring post! I’m so sorry I wasn’t at Haven to take your session! I’ve been battling with myself about a pretty extreme decorating decision and you definitely just gave me the guts to go through with it! It’ll be a few months before I’m done and sharing, but thank you! 🙂
I was lucky enough to take your class at Haven, and I do agree it was amazing and empowering. Now, I just have to have my husband read this, so he can get on board with my outside the box ideas! I loved meeting you at Haven.
Hey Lindsay! Great post I love it! As I was checking some home improvement blogs, I came across to your and spent a few minutes in this post. A nice way to start my day. Motivation it is!