Where has the time gone?
It seems like just a few weeks ago I was telling you guys that we were expecting. Then, it felt like two days later when we found out we were having a little girl.
Well, it’s definitely been longer than just a few weeks. Look at me now!
We have, at most, four more weeks until our precious daughter is going to make her arrival. I know this because she has a pending eviction date of August 15th, if she’s not already here by then.
I know projects have been scarce as of late, but I know that most of you guys understand what I’m going through. I’m still feeling great physically, but chores such as, oh, bending over to pick something up off the floor and standing for too long just exhaust me. My glue gun is feeling very unloved right now, and I’m not sure I even remember how to operate a can of spray paint!
However, at the core of my being, I’m definitely struggling with the concept of being a mother of two. Zack has gotten our undivided attention for 4 1/2 years now, and that’s all about to change. He is undeniably excited about having a baby sister, but I don’t think he fully understands how is life is going to be turned upside down. Obviously, we aren’t the first family that’s experienced this feeling – I’m sure everyone goes through it, and we’ll get through it, too.
Just this morning, I started crying when thinking about it, and Zack and I had this conversation:
Zack: Why are you crying, Mama?
Me: Because I love you so much, and I’m scared about being a Mama to two babies.
Zack: It’s okay, Mama. When Baby Emma gets here, you can take care of her and I will take care of you.
Cue the water works, again. How did I get so lucky to have a little boy as great as Zack?
It gets easier, right? Someone please tell me yes. 🙂
I have to tell you, I love your blog! It’s been so inspirational.
When we were having our 2nd child, my husband was worried about being able to love 2 children. He was worried that the love he had for our 1st would diminish in order to make room to love the 2nd. He was pleasantly surprised to find that instead of having to share his love for his children, his ability to love both of them equally doubled! Now, we have #4 almost here and he would love to have another couple. (Not sure how I feel about that, but that’s to be seen.) You will find that your capacity to love will continue to grow, and that will make up the difference for trying to take care of 2 instead of 1. You’ll do wonderfully!
Yes, it does get easier. I promise! You are not alone – everything you are feeling is normal. Might not make you feel better, but it is normal.
Our daughter was 4 1/2 when her brother arrived. It was a huge change for her, but I think I cried the most. I knew our life was going to change dramatically. We wouldn’t have our morning snuggles and reading time just ourselves, among other things. That one was the hardest to let go which is why I mention it.
I’ll be honest, she did struggle with the changes, not being the only with all the attention, but in a few short months she realized how bored she was before having a brother. Now, they play together all the time and when she can’t have him to play with she’s “lost”.
Fast forward 2 years and now, I have three. It gets easier after two…going from one to two is a big change and everyone I know struggles.
BTW, you look beautiful! And yes, your son is a blessing! What a great thing for him to say…something you’ll remember for his lifetime!
Blessings,
Trish
Linz, you look AWESOME!!! And I know that you definitely have enough love in your heart for two bebes! Zack will be just fine…you’ve raised a good little boy and he’ll love his little sissy…and if it’s a rough transition, just throw him outside with the dogs for a while. Ha! ; )
PS – the one you should be worried about is your big fat cat! ; )
You look great and things will be just fine! Our first two kids are 18 months apart and it went smoothly. Our third child is almost 3 years from #2 and it went even better. It will be hard to imagine life with just one child the INSTANT you hear her cry and see her. It literally takes one second and your heart explodes into an even bigger heart. I can’t wait to read about the new baby!
Some of it is hormonal but all of it is normal. Zach certainly is a special little boy and the security he feels is because of the secure footing you’ve given him in life. Having a baby sister is the greatest gift you can give him (and his future wife, someday. Hard to think of now, I know, but men who grow up with sisters understand women better.). Love grows with each addition. Yes, get your extra snuggles in now but there will be all the more love to snuggle in with the arrival of your daughter.
Thanks for the honest thoughts. It’s a little overwhelming thinking about adding a new baby in the mix. I don’t think I was prepared at all. You just sort of roll with it. I think it gets easier and you adjust (everyone adjust even the older brother). Your little boy is the sweetest!!! Best of luck with the new baby and blessings!
Oh my goodness… that made me tear up- so sweet! I myself am pregnant and understand what a whirl-wind of emotions us momma’s deal with. He is so understanding for his 4-1/2 years. I pray that your hubby is willing to work double shift during the early times after your sweet Emma comes- that way hopefully Zack won’t notice your business with her. He’s old enough to help get diapers, and toys maybe having him help will make him feel apart of the adjusting process. In no time at all you’ll be a master mother of 2! Good Luck- and look forward to when you have your time again.
You are glowing with beauty and health, and what a sweet little boy you have. You will all be just fine. Love expands in all directions – you to your new little one, Zach to his sister, and so on. Yes, there will be adjustments, but take each one as it comes.
I totally understand where you are coming from! I’m expecting my second and my first will be 4 just before this one is born. He is so sweet, but I find myself questioning why I wasn’t satisfied with just him when he is so good (mostly!). But I give you full props because you keep blogging. I’ve been trying to get my little blog going and I can’t even keep up with that, much less the 4 dozen projects around the house I’m supposed to be doing.
things will certainly feel upside down for a while but it sounds like you’ve got a great little guy that is ready to share you (and take care of you even!!) 🙂
you look GREAT. I follow but have never commented. Thanks for being so honest and open to over 2000 readers! I have a set of twins and think if I can “do” two babies at once … you can do anything with one baby! Look what you can do with a glue gun 🙂 Good Luck!
You look like your glowing in these photographs. So glad to here that your having a girl and that her name is Emma. Zack is going to love being a big brother and your going love having a daughter. Congratulatons again!
Aw, what a sweet little boy you have! I’m sure you’re going to be great!
Kelly
I will never foget the morning after having Marshall and Cooper came into our room and I felt like I had betrayed him (Cooper). The following days (and now years) have shown me that I have given Cooper a lifelong present in a sibling. Long after Robert and I are gone, they will have each other!
Hang in there and you look great!
first of all, you are gorgeous! i had the same dilemma with my kids- a son first as well and then a daughter came when my son was 17 months. i was so afraid of losing the relationship i had with him. i cried over it many times because, like you said, i just loved him so much. then when emmy was born, i didn’t have that love at first sight i had with my son and i felt so guilty and awful. i am telling you this not to scare you but just because it’s normal but no one talks about it so we all feel guilty when it happens! at just took me a couple days to really warm up to her, and now of course i am smitten and i love them both so much! the best thing i could have done was had another baby- now that they are 3 and 4 they are best of friends. of course they fight, but seeing them hug spntaneiously, hold hands as they walk into school together, and then today going off to camp together….. there is nothing like it and i love them all the more when i see them loving each other.
Awww, thank you for that. 🙂
Okay I almost cried as well 🙂
I’m gonna be a mother of two in some weeks too, I’m due for august 10th. My daughter is 2 though, so I’m really not sure of how well she understands what’s coming :S I guess we’ll have to see!
I understand very well about not being able to be on my feet for too long… No more grocery shopping for me!!
I’m not a mother (yet) but it’s obvious what a delightful little boy you have. 🙂 I’m sure he’ll do wonderfully well with the new baby & he may even surprise you. 🙂 Either way there will just be more love to go around for everyone. Congrats & many blessings to you & yours!
We have almost that age difference between #2 and #3,
and it is WONDERFUL!
transition, of course…..but now over a year later it is really great to see them becoming the best of friends 🙂
My husband and I are planning for our first and I’m already feeling some of these emotions thinking about how our family will change. Your post brought me to tears but also made me feel good knowing that others go through this too!
Look how stinkin cute you are..nice to meet you. Just came over from the Shabby Chic Cottage :).
It definitely gets easier. I felt so guilty when I found out I was pregnant with our second, but I knew it would be great for our daughter to have a sibling (I have four sisters and can’t imagine not having siblings). Once our second arrived everything just seemed to be okay. Our daughter was in love with her new brother and vice versa. They are the best of buddies now and I can’t imagine them not having each other. We are adding number three to our family this year and I’m hoping that this one blends in just as well.
Aww, what a sweet boy! 🙂 You will do great, just like you did when you had Zack!
yes, Lindsay- it does get easier, and if you can believe it- It gets even better! there is nothing like seeing the way your 2 kids interact with each other, and the moments when you really can tell that they actually love each other? fantastic! Congratulations, and I hope for you a speedy and healthy delivery!
I will checking in to see when that baby arrives!! I’m due just a few days before you on the 13th with my first-a little girl!
YES! It does get easier. It is a big adjustment from 1 kid to 2. You will make it and be a great mom! Don’t stress!!
And you look so cute preggo!! 🙂
You look like the perfectly pregnant mama!
We have 3 boys and it gets soo much easier. I have to say the hardest was the transition for me was from 1 to two, only because I was no longer spending all of my time with my oldest, as I suspect you do with your son. The good news: you know what to do with a newborn and how to work the sleeping/feeding/diapering schedule with confidence.
Enjoy your wonderfully blessed and expanding family! I wish for you all the best and a easy and relaxed delivery, too! 😉
Isn’t that THE most precious thing! 🙂
Sounds like such a sweetie. I’m sure he’ll be a GREAT big brother. As for preparing for ‘more room’ in your heart/mind….Just wait till she makes her arrival and it’ll happen – magic I tell ya, your heart just expands.
From the sounds of it you’ll have plenty of ‘help’ too.
Blessings to you!
The first time you see your two little kiddos make that brother-sister connection, it will melt your heart and you breathe a sigh of relief that having two was the perfect decision. Now when it comes to fighting over toys when they are older…can’t help ya there. Mine are 4 and almost 16m. Why do they always want the SAME toy???? We have plenty!! Good luck~ and enjoy every minute of it!
Oh yes, it does! All the things you wondered how in the world you would EVER do with two, you just do! I worried about the very same things when I had my second little boy and everything just fell into place…you will do beautifully….
Lou Cinda 🙂
I love your blog!
And you look GREAT btw! I had my 2nd child In May. My daughter will be 5 next month. I was SO nervous while I was pregnant with DS that I wouldn’t be able to handle both kids!! Since DH works weird shifts (48 hours at a time) and Im a SAHM I thought I would nooot be able to do it! Well so far so GREAT! Its been a breeze. You will be surprised with how much your oldest will want to help!!
It gets easier and harder in different ways. At different times.
One thing my doctor suggested, that I thought was a marvelous idea… had to do with how we presented our baby to our daughter (mind you, our daughter is 4 when our son was born).
When our daughter came to the hospital, we had the nurse take our baby. Then we had our 4-yr-old get into bed with me. I asked her if she was ready to receive OUR baby. Then the nurse brought him in to US.
The alternative that could have happened, was that my daughter could have walked into a room where Mommy was holding a baby in bed with her. Daughter across the room. Miles apart. Mommy and *that* baby.
Instead, she became a part of the reception of a collaborative gift. Our baby.
You’re family will be brilliant.
I’ll be straight with you. It will be rough the first couple of months b/c you’re going to have to (attempt to) divide your attention. It can be a difficult adjustment. My oldest had just turned 2 the month before our second was born, so that was really hard b/c she was still so little. Involve Zack as much as you can (let him bring you a diaper, a snack, an extra blanket, etc.) so he feels included. If he goes to preschool, that may helpful for you to get some extra rest and bond more with the baby when he’s not home. If he doesn’t go to preschool yet, find someone you can do a playdate with once a week!!!
I know it seems weird and impossible, but I promise your heart will immediately expand when baby girls arrives and you’ll have plenty of love for two. I can’t explain it, but when it happens, you’ll know!!!
What amazing advice you’ve received so far! The only thing I want to add is that you will NOT be able to pick up your son!! You’ll be amazed at how HEAVY he will be 🙂 My oldest was only 21 months when #2 came. I carried #1 around up until delivery. I was shocked how heavy 25 pounds seemed after carrying my 9.1 pound newborn 🙂
I went from having two to one then I had a fourth and final child the only girl in the bunch. One thing I do know and you know is that unless the baby is hungry or wet, they can rest, swing, spit up, roll, or lie on the ground and wait until you can comfort, feed, or read to your son. Cecilia loved her swing and I didn’t mess with that. I was always able to meet her needs and my boys did not suffer one bit.
I’m with Amanda, it will not be easy at first because you’ll be exhausted dividing your time and attention between two. There is definitely an adjustment period. I think you’ll have an easier time than I had, mine are exactly two years apart and juggling a 4 yr old and newborn will be easier than a toddler and newborn. You’re luck to have such a smart little boy ! He will understand, and then when baby sleeps you’ll have your alone time with him. You can do it, all moms figure it out. And don’t worry about any limit on love in your heart, you’ll be amazed you even questioned it’s capacity to love another child.
Can’t wait to meet Emma !!
Oh, and on another unrelated topic. Don’t worry about posting less ~ once you’ve made it to someone’s reader or blogroll, it’s for a great reason, they love you and everything you are going through, and want to follow along, so I wouldn’t worry in the slightest about taking it slower at first. We will all still be here !!! And your glue gun will forgive you for taking a break. 🙂
Hugs
Kate
Me and you, we’re on the same wavelength, friend.
1- I am due on the 14th, with our second.
2- I cried and cried last night, just hoping that Burke (our 2 year old) will be ok. I want him to know that he is still important, and that we love him, and that Peanut #2 won’t change that a bit.
I don’t have much to offer you by way of hopeful advice or words of wisdom, but I am TOTALLY with you in this little dance of excited-but-worried. I know it’ll be allright, I know it will- it’s just a little scary, huh?
Oh, Lindsay. I know the feeling well. Our daughter was only 2 1/2 when our son was born. I felt like I was cheating her in some way. The fears were unfounded. She was a Mama Hen and loved that baby like none other. He was hers. I was just there to do the nursing and diapering part. Let me just say those two who are now 21 and 18 are closer than I could ever imagine. (And she is a mama now as of June 22 which makes me a Nona!) You’ll all be in love and your precious Zack will know there is enough love to go around. Hugs and prayers to you.
I cant say if it gets easier or not. I just had my first 2.5 weeks ago and I have hardly been able to reach my computer to look things up and maintain my businesses let alone work on craft projects and catalog that in my blog! But I wish you the best of luck!
Before you know it, you will wonder how you ever lived life with just one child. All those worries that come with having your first child turned out to be nothing to worry about and so are the new worries you have about having a second. It seems impossible, but your heart and love just double! All the best to you and your family! Sounds like your new daughter is going to have one awesome big brother!
Oh it does get easier. I have four children. And you grow a whole new enormous heart with everyone of them. Just take each stage as it comes. Enjoy it. My oldest two are now 22 and 19 and my oldest daughter Emma has now left home and is forging her own way. Lucky for me the youngest two are 11 and 9. Being a mum can be the most exhausting job but equally the most rewarding. I wouldnt swap my place in the world for anywhere else!
Ok, the waterworks are definitely on, and full blast! Your son is such a sweetie!
Best of luck to you and your family!!!
my water broke about 30 minutes before my then 2 year old’s bedtime. i read him him bedtime story sitting on the little chair beside his bed sitting on a towel. i read the story and tucked him in and kissed him, the whole time i was thinking, ‘this is the last time he’s my only child. the next time i see him he’ll have a brother’. it was so crazy.
you’ll get the hang of it, they’ll get the hang of it, it will all be wonderful.
Okay, tears again. 🙂
what a sweetheart!
I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 3 month old – both girls. Same thing… my oldest is the only child in both mine and my husband’s family. She has ALWAYS gotten so much attention and love and well basically her way with all of the people in her life. I cried thinking about bringing a new baby into her world for months. I mean how could I possibly love someone as much as I love her. I knew I would but it was so hard to believe.
Well…. I DO!!! I love my 3 month old so much. I love them BOTH so much. It is amazing.
I know where you are. Trust me when I say you will fall in love all over again:)
that is seriously the sweetest thing i’ve ever read. i am only a mother of one for now but i’m sure i’ll feel that way someday. good luck and i know you will be amazing!
OMG – I totally just teared up! Where are my tissues!?!? I am scared of just having one and what that would mean! But I have to believe it is one of those things that just happens! Hugs!
You are so cute! I remember thinking I could never love anyone like I loved my first baby. But the heart is truly amazing and you will love the new baby until you feel like bursting and it DOESN’T TAKE ONE IOTA of love from the first, or second, or third… I clearly remember the relief I felt when my second baby was in my arms and my heart didn’t need to choose – it just grew without a moments hesitation. I remember thinking how amazing it was to have that much love instantaneously… It’s hard to imagine but you’ll see what I mean! And you’ll think “The heart is an amazing thing!”.
My boys are also 4 1/2 years apart. I was also concerned about the older one not getting enough attention, etc, after the baby came. My guilt drove me to crazy things like hand sewing him a stuffed dinosaur (I pretty much ONLY sew when I am pregnant), and ordering the Charlton Heston Bible video series off TV (I was nursing the new baby with one arm, sniffling, and holding the phone with the other as I ordered; not that he even wanted those videos but…. CHARLTON HESTON said: if you love your kids, you will get them these videos! —And post-partum hormones are a powerful thing). Seriously, that’s a lot of videos!
It all worked out fine. You will find ways to spend individual time with both children, just be flexible and don’t beat yourself up.
🙂 And you look FABULOUS!!!
How precious is that little boy! He’s going to be a great big brother and he will love you even more for being Super Mom 🙂
Oh, what a sweetie your little guy is!! I’ll pray that God helps the two of you through that transition 🙂
Rene xo
You look adorable! 🙂
Yes! things do get easier! I remember when I brought Brendan, my third son, home from the hospital. I saw a slide show of the boys and my husband and I couldn’t stop crying. When my other two visited the hospital, Nicholas (my second), asked if he could hold “HIS” baby!
Girl once Emma comes, you’ll see that its so natural for our love to be easily bestowed upon our children evenly no matter how many we have.
Take care hun and you look great! I looked like a cow:-)
Yes, they really do get easier! My 3 kids are all teenagers now but I remember feeling just like you do as if it were yesterday! We had our son and oldest daughter at that time and I just could NOT imagine a 3rd child in the mix! But it all just works together and you end up feeling like you just can’t get any more blessed as a mom!
Thanks for sharing the sweet story about your son. Very heartwarming!
Oh my. You got me crying too! I just had my second 6 weeks ago. I know what you are feeling! You are mourning the loss of complete 1-on-1 time with your 1st while excited for a new baby too! Then I also had the crying over how I feel like I already ‘cheated’ #2 out of all that 1-on-1 time since she’ll never have almost 3 years of complete attention like her older brother got….and you know what? That’s all gone now- I can’t believe it’s only been 6 weeks since I had her because it feels like she was here all along. It’ll all be ok Lindsay- you’ll see.
You look gorgeous! And yes it gets easier. Just remember nothing matters for the next few months, nothing but time spent snuggling and loving. The house, regular showers, social dates- take time off for a while and enjoy it.
Love to you all!
Just keep reminding him that little sister is going to be the luckiest girl in the world to have a brother like him. It’s also a good idea to let him overhear you telling others this too 🙂 We tried to avoid telling our oldest that she’d have a playmate to avoid the disappointment when they realize that the baby is just a baby that can’t play yet.
So sweet! And you look wonderful!
YES! You may find yourself exhausted at times, but the more children you have, the more love you give and receive. They are a great blessing!
Short answer – YES!
Longer answer – Oh the joy in store for you! Yes, the children don’t get as much one on one Mom/Dad time, but they get time together which is pretty special. Yes, it is more work trying to spend time with both, but it is so rewarding watching their interactions. Those moments of sibling love that just happen…when the little one crawls up in the big ones lap for a snuggle, when the big one helps the little one do something or reads a book, when they say ‘I love you’ and give each other hugs sigh oh the joy! Your little guy seems so sweet, he’s going to be a terrific big brother. Your little lady will be blessed. A year from now you’ll wonder why you thought parenting two would be hard.
I have 8 weeks left to go and I think I’m the same size, if not a bit bigger than you!. You look great!
Oh, you look SO GREAT!! What a precious blessing awaits you. We have an Emma of our own (our baby, who is seven now) and she is a joy. Her four older siblings dote on her just like your little guy will. 😉
Yes! I remember the night before my second daughter was born. I was a week late and had a scheduled induction the next day. It was strange knowing that the next day was definitely “the day”. When I tucked my firstborn in that night I started crying because I realized it was the last moment when she would have my undivided attention. Fast forward to two years later and they are best friends. You are giving your son the best possible gift you can give him- a sibling, a life-long friend!
u look sooo cute!!! and that’s why i love my boy so much! they say the cutest things.
I know exactly what you are saying! I have felt like that with both my second and third pregnancy, but then as soon as that sweet little bundle is placed in your arms it’s like your heart doubles and you suddenly have the capacity to love all your children even more than you did just with the first. It’s a wonderful mystery! Grace is for each day so trust – and you’ll see.
You look so lovely – I was the size of a log truck by your stage!
Every blessing to you x
Oh yes! It will get better. I felt the same for baby #2 and for baby #3. I have time and room in my life for each one of them. Best wishes for a safe delivery of Baby Emma and can’t wait to see your new larger family.
Yes, Lindsay it does get easier! At least your son is old enough to do some things for himself (and you)! My kids were 2 years and 20 days apart. Having a baby and a toddler is a big challenge.
P.S. Your little girls due date is on my wedding anniversary!
Lindsay, I did not think I would “mourn” losing the one-to-one relationship with my oldest, but literally on the morning #2 was coming I did and I did not expect it. It probably happens to everyone, I know that you know you are normal! I know you are very excited and all the feelings of overwhelming love that flood your heart when you meet her will be enough to cover Zack, too. Good luck!
Mine are now 17 and 12 — yes, it does get easier. 🙂
My daughter’s name is Emma. I just love it. Congratulations!
Blessings,
Lisa
Awwwwwww, what a sweetie! I can’t wait to be a mama of two!
It will be so fun for your little boy to have a playmate! And yes it does get easier but thank goodness we don’t have our kids all at once! I’m a grandma of two now and still have 2 kids at home but every minute I can spend with those adorable little girls is priceless! Life is so short. Enjoy your time with your little ones and lots of luck!! Ü
I remember being so afraid that I couldn’t possibly love two as much as I loved our little girl. But when baby two made his entrance – it was just unbelievable how everything fell into place. I wouldn’t have it any other way – my girl baby is now 23 and my boy child is 20 and every day I think I love them even a little bit more than the day before.
Your little guy will probably think his momma gave him the greatest gift of all – a little sister to love and protect.
I feel that way all the time and I dont even have baby number2 on the way! We have been trying for over a year and a half and sometimes I just want to quit bc I am so scared of sharing my time and taking away from my first daughter! Then I tell myself people wouldnt have multiple children if it was that hard! My mom is the biggest softy and she had a second one after me so it couldnt be that bad! But I still get teary eyed just thinking about it when it actually does happen!
Well, now. Looks like you’ve done a very, very good job with Zack, so I think you’ll do just fine with two. Actually, he’s right: he WILL take care of you! You’ll be amazed at how much he helps you. You’ll have some rough moments, of course, but for the most part things will just fall into a rhythm as they did after he was born. I think the jump from one to two children is much easier than the jump from zero to one child. You know how to do this mom thing–just relax and do the same wonderful things you’ve done for your precious boy.
And there’s another thing that’s out-of-this-world wonderful: after Emma is born, YOU WON’T BE PREGNANT ANY MORE. Yes, you’ll have two little ones to look after, but you won’t be trying to do it as a pregnant woman. Remember how good you feel when you’re not pregnant? You’re about to get there again! Take heart.
Lindsay,
When I had baby #4, I found the opposite was true. Being a busy busy mommy and always being on the go, my kids actually got more of my attention and hugs after I had the baby… because they knew where they could find me! In the rocking chair, feeding the cute little baby! We had more talks, read more stories, snuggled more (make sure you have a recliner with big arms for your oldest to climb up and perch himself on next to you) and got to see each other more than we had during the whole pregnancy during those first few weeks post-partum.
Enjoy that slow-down time! Have fun!
ANgie
Yes – two is great!
P.S. Jocie and I recommend having Emma either on the 10th (Jocie’s b’day) or the 11th (mine) instead of waiting all the way till the 15th. 🙂